Today I have a little treat in store for you all- I decided to let my fiancé guest post here. Alls fair in love and war, and since I poke fun at him constantly I figured he deserved to get in some digs publicly as well. I remind you, I’m currently taking ambien so I refuse to acknowledge accountability for my actions. When you’re finished having a good laugh at my expense, don’t forget to enter to win a starbucks prize pack!

––––––––––––––––––––

Hi there, I’m Chris Wardzala, and you may know me from such films as “I’m Maggie’s Fiancee,” and “chriswardzala.com.” Today I would like to talk to you about drug use.  Not the scary kind where you get addicted and all whacked out, but I mean the fun kind.  The use of prescribed medication.

You’ve all head about my fun times of incoherently talking in my sleep, about random pretzel adventures and the like.  But today I flip the coin, and we talk about Maggie and her use of a sleep aid.

This morning, Maggie and I both left the house at the same time, so we rode the bus together.  On our way out the door, Cady, our cat, escaped.  She ran a bit down the hallway, but we caught her fairly quickly.  While chasing her down, Maggie exclaimed, “YOU BITCH! I’M GONNA TURN YOU INTO A HANDBAG!” I thought this was a little extreme, but whatever. While I was wrangling Cady back into the apartment, the elevator arrived, and the door opened with a man inside.  He looked at Maggie, and she just stared at him.  He looked extremely uncomfortable, and the door closed on him without Maggie getting inside.  I closed our door, and called the next elevator.  Maggie was now talking again. We went down the elevator to catch the bus.

A few buses were coming, and Maggie for some reason really insisted that we get on all of them that were really packed.  It was kind of weird how stubborn she was being about it. (This will all make sense in a bit, I swear.)

The final weird thing that happened was on the way to work, she was saying how sluggish she felt, and how weird she was feeling.

“I’m almost too tired.”

Her: “I feel drugged.”

Me: “You are.”

Her: “Oh.”

The final bit that really made me suspect something weird was when she mentioned how much she felt like a zombie, asked me for my brains, and then let out a rather loud zombie moan on the bus.  A lady sitting near us then took that moment to move far away.

Maggie then left the bus, and I went to work.

On our way home, I asked her about how much of the bus she remembered.  She really didn’t remember much, and thats when I began to clue her in.  She began to laugh, and I think I got a few tears out of her as well, because honestly, she says some pretty funny stuff.

I can’t wait to hear what craziness awaits me tomorrow.