Comments on: Breaking up is hard to do

By: Red Letter Haze » Blog Archive » Confession: I’m a huge book nerd.

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 03:06:57 +0000

[...] She first told me about this book after the demise of my friendship with someone after I wrote a post about wanting to put the kibosh on the friendship. This book is composed of 20 essays about [...]

By: Faith

Faith — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 03:36:52 +0000

“the classic “I have a boyfriend and I don’t need friends anymore” syndrome. I thought we all grew up & left that behind in high school.”

This has happened to me twice now! I need to start making friends who aren’t single, who are already with someone so I know they won’t ditch me whenever someone new is in their life.

Anyhow, I’m currently going through very close to the same thing. She is blowing me off to the point that when my dad passed away 6 weeks ago, and she said she’d take some point to listen to my speech for the funeral (just on the phone, not even coming over) she hung up on me to go hang out with her exboyfriend instead. Harsh, right?

But, I’ve done this before. I did the friend break up three years ago. I tried to talk to them about all the problems, because I just wanted it out there. I needed closure, I guess. I don’t mean to be terribly discouraging, because I know how badly I needed to do it then (and how much I keep thinking about it now) but when I did it, it was terrible. She said nasty things to me and then told all the people in our hometown that I was mean to her. The things she did after I tried to bring things up with her still bother me to this day. It was a terrible, terrible experience.

I’m so sorry you’re losing a friend, I know how terrible it was/is going for me.

By: Lollygagger.

Lollygagger. — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 18:08:58 +0000

Being the bigger person is always difficult, but personally I try to take it. If she doesn’t realize she has an awesome friend in you, then it prob not be worth your time or effort to get into some back and forth with her. I say just do your own thing and if you want to confront her, tell her you want to talk. I dunno. End of friendships are always difficult. Good luck!

By: Julianne

Julianne — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 00:49:56 +0000

I agree with everyone else, just let it fade. And tempting it is to send a nasty e-mail, it won’t solve any problems. It may possibly escalate the situation and just bring on more stress.

By: katelin

katelin — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 22:48:17 +0000

i think you just need to let this one fade away. clearly she’s not making any effort so it seems like you shouldn’t have to as well.

By: Dave

Dave — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 16:05:33 +0000

Hey, Maggie!

I would just recommend slowly losing touch, as it seems this person is not worth your time. Don’t keep in touch—if she tries to contact you, don’t call or e-mail or Facebook or Twitter or text message or Digg or Yelp or MySpace or Flickr back. Eventually, she should get the point. I know I would (and I have).

By: Ashley

Ashley — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 15:39:10 +0000

Ending friendships is always hard but you don’t need that extra stress in your life. There are WAY to many fabulous people in this city to worry about just one.

By: Erin

Erin — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 13:30:16 +0000

Gah. I am having a similar situation, except this friend is also someone I work with. So, I can’t just tell her off…our classrooms are across the hall from each other. Plus, she’s such a psycho that she’d go out of her way to make my life miserable. I’m at a loss for what to do!

But for you, I think you can just go the distancing route. Stop calling, stop making plans. Eventually, it will just fizzle out.

By: Andrea

Andrea — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 12:47:53 +0000

The end of a friendship is awful because it’s so awkward. My experience is similar to Melinda- just stop making plans and talking to the person. You’ll both move on and save the argument.

By: Melinda

Melinda — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 12:30:04 +0000

I had a very similar thing happen to me with a friend. She was always so busy and calling off on plans we made. So I just stopped making plans with her. It was subtle and didn’t seem to hurt any feelings. Good luck. Sometimes breaking up with friends can be harder than breaking up with boyfriends.