Is Religion a Chore?
Posted by Magdelyn on November 30th, 2009. Filed under: Guest Post, Religion.Hi all! Today I have a guest blogger treat for you: Matt Cheuvront from Life Without Pants. He has been so kind as to post on a topic many of us shy away from, and I hope you enjoy reading his views as much as I did. I’ve been under the weather for the past 5 days but I promise I have lots to update you on tomorrow. Enjoy!
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This post is part of the Guest Blog Grand Tour over at Life Without Pants – an epic two-month journey of over 50 guest posts. Want to learn more about Matt Cheuvront and see how far the rabbit hole goes? Subscribe to the Life Without Pants RSS feed and keep in touch!
Let me preface this by saying that, while I may not be a very religious person, I have a lot of faith. I’m not an Atheist, I believe in God – but may seem Him a little differently than you.
I grew up in a very interesting environment. My parent’s got divorced when I was just a wee lad – after which my Mom decided to try the other team (yes, she’s gay) while my Dad remarried and, ironically enough, became extremely involved in the Catholic faith. To this day, I believe much of his church-going ways came as a result of permanently turning my mom off to men.
While church was never a big thing with my Mom (who I spent most of my time with growing up) – Mass and Sunday school was a standard on the weekends with my Dad. We would wake up on Sunday Morning – go to mass, I’d run along with my Sunday School “friends” to talk about all things Jesus and play games for an hour or so, and then we’d have our regular family breakfast.
I went along with this routine for a while – well over 10 years (mostly for the free breakfast). It was the “routine” that still, to this day, has left a bad taste in my mouth about organized religion. I would stand there during Mass, look around, and half the people would be looking at their watches, falling asleep, or whispering about the football games that day. I thought to myself, “What’s the point”? Church had become a chore, for myself, and for so many other people – something you did because you were supposed to do it, otherwise God would smite you and you’d have no place in heaven.
Enough was enough – and around the time I graduated from high school I “called it quits” with the Church routine. This wasn’t without some friction with my Dad, but I did what I thought was best – and embarked down the path of PERSONAL enlightenment.
I’ll never argue with anyone over their beliefs – faith and religion is something that is sacred, and in my opinion, very personal. So while it’s no place of mine to say your church is pointless, it’s not your place to say I’m going to hell because I choose not to sit in Mass on Sundays.
And that’s the essence of religion to me – it has to be about you. When you lose track of WHY you’re praying, WHY you’re sitting in mass every Sunday – when you find yourself blindly going through the motions, when church becomes a chore, you have to stop and ask “Why am I doing this”?
I believe that God is not only with me, but within me. He created man to replicate a perfect image of himself – since then, things have obviously gone awry. But it is my ultimate goal, down this path of enlightenment, to achieve that perfection that was intended. I’m not saying I lead a perfect life – not by any stretch of the imagination, but I live my life with the intent of “finding” God within myself – and becoming one with Him.
We’re blinded by the imperfection of reality – but underneath it all – each one of us has a pure, raw, unfiltered version of ourselves (I think this is what we get a glimpse of in someone else when we fall in love). I won’t pull out the Matrix references here – but there is a lot of truth in what appears to be nothing more than a slick action movie.
As long as religion and faith has meaning to you – you’re doing it right. When it becomes a chore, it’s time to rethink your direction and try something new.
What does religion mean to you?
(Image courtesy of WishLaura)
November 30th, 2009 at 6:36 pm
[...] Red Letter Haze » Blog Archive » Is Religion a Chore? [...]
November 30th, 2009 at 6:38 pm
“What does religion mean to you?”
Nothing
November 30th, 2009 at 10:01 pm
I’ve seen religion kill people, abuse children, divide countries, rip friendships and families apart. Until we can all become accountable for our own behavior, I consider religion to be a menace to civilization, a method to control people who can’t seem to think for themselves. The best moral compass, for ANY faith, is: Do No Evil. Thanks, Google.
November 30th, 2009 at 10:12 pm
Very insightful, as always, Matt! Thought you were going in 1 direction with this but you surprised me.
December 1st, 2009 at 5:54 am
@adchick – I see those same pitfalls in religion – and I think that ‘exclusivity’ and ’segregation’ many churches possess is what turned me off. Imagine growing up and living with a gay mom Monday-Saturday, then going to Catholic Mass where they burn into your brain that Homosexuality is an abomination and that all gay’s are going to hell. Not exactly what I wanted to hear. Faith, to me, should be about love, compassion, and acceptance. I doubt God created man in his image to hate other men and women who might be different – at least not the God I find truth in.
@Tara – thanks Tara. I’m curious, what direction did you think I was heading? I’m glad, or should I say, I hope, you were pleasantly surprised. Thanks for coming by.
December 1st, 2009 at 6:01 am
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December 1st, 2009 at 9:06 am
Well written Matt. To me religion, or more appropriately faith, means living the lessons of being good to thy neighbor and not so much the rituals of going to church. I was raised in a household with a Catholic father who doesn’t attend church and a very new age (anti-organized religion) mother. As such I learned a little about a lot of different faiths and found that the one thing they have in common is the core value is that we should be good to others. That is how I try to live my life…walk the walk.
December 1st, 2009 at 9:18 am
Walk the walk, I like that Melinda. At the core, that’s what it’s all about. But somewhere down the line, very early one, many lost touch with that – Religion became such an “exclusive” club – that if you didn’t believe what the church believed, you didn’t belong there. I don’t see a right or wrong way to worship and instead, think it should be a much more personal relationship and journey from within. Thanks for the comment!
December 1st, 2009 at 9:33 am
Very well written. Religion is a tricky subject- to me, religion is your personal relationship with whatever God or entity you believe in. Most of the time, this relationship helps you to become a better person and strive to improve your life. Sometimes, people manipulate these ideas or become obsessed with them and make them into something they are not. As a Muslim, I know this better than anyone.
At the end of the day, no matter what religion you might be, I think everyone should live by the golden rule: treat others how you would want to be treated. Unfortunately, it’s easier said than done.
December 1st, 2009 at 9:33 am
I used to go to church on a regular basis because I WANTED TO. Things have changed since, but I used to go because it was spiritually enlightening for me; I loved being a part of the church choir; and I had friends who went and enjoyed sharing in each other’s faith. This is very different from a lot of others, those who stood there falling asleep and checked their watches, those who were merely forced to go because our institutions have dictated that we must.
Might I also add that no where in the Bible does is say that we must go to church every Sunday morning? Yet my local priest always made me feel guilty about missing church whenever I went to confession. And for what?
I’ve had too many little old ladies go to church, thinking they were pious because they knelt at the pews and donated money, and then turn around to give me a dirty look because I’m a visual minority in their predominantly Italian community.
I agree with you Matt: faith has to be about what it means to YOU. Going to mass didn’t work for you, nor does it work for me anymore, so I stopped going. I couldn’t stand some of the preaching. Mind you, it could also be that you and I had terrible preachers; there are churches with priests who preach compassion and acceptance above all other things, and interpret the scripture with this perspective. Maybe it’s worth it to seek out those good apples.
Bottom line is, what does it mean to believe? What does it mean to follow your faith? Does it mean that you will diligently and happily follow a weekly routine of prayer? Does it mean you live your life with as much compassion as you can?
At the end of the day, I believe God, whatever form He may take, wants us to live our lives with love. Whatever we do to express it, as long as it does not harm others, is up to us.
December 1st, 2009 at 9:38 am
also, @adchick: I’ve seen political ideologies like our “beloved” democracy inspire the ruin of innocent civilians too. Just take a look at North America’s international relations. So I would argue that it’s not necessarily ideology or religion that should be condemned, but the people who choose to use our ideologies and religions as reasons for wreaking havoc and making others miserable. People will stand up for what they believe in, and that’s a beautiful thing. It goes wrong when standing up for their beliefs means bringing other people pain.
December 1st, 2009 at 10:55 am
Religion is about ritual and dogma; what most people are seeking is spirituality, which is based in experience. I was out of organized religion for many years until at a particular low point I went with a friend to a Unity Church. Deeply spiritual, relatively free of mandatory dogmas and rituals, science friendly, I was amazed. I told the minister it was a church for people who didn’t like churches. More like a spiritual personal growth workshop. I’m not sure he felt complimented, but that’s how I meant it!
I have become convinced that a valid spiritual path should be something that’s meaningful 24/7. If you just trot it out on a schedule, what’s the point? If you feel that you have to check your brain at the door, take your brain and leave. Spirituality, like science, should be an effort to accurately describe the Universe we live in and our relationship to it. It should seamlessly meld both the inner and outer domains of our existence. Interestingly the mystics from every major religious tradition – Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism – report the same experience: one-ness. It’s been nice in recent years to see some courageous scientists moving in that direction too.
December 1st, 2009 at 4:27 pm
@Matt – I thought you were heading toward an anti-religion rant. I was pleasantly surprised that it turned out to be more about a personal relationship with religion that was right for you. I lean more towards organized religion than you do but I totally agree with what you said in the post. It’s about finding what’s right for you.
December 1st, 2009 at 4:51 pm
This reminds me of the short short story by Krishnamurti:
The devil and his friend were walking down the street one day when the devil’s friend saw a man in the distance lean down, pick something up and walk away.
“What did he pick up?” said the devil’s friend.
“He picked up a piece of the truth,” said the devil.
“That can’t be good for you,” said the friend.
“It will be, because I will help him organize it.”
December 1st, 2009 at 9:09 pm
This is very interesting. For me at this very moment in time, religion doesn’t mean much. It’s my faith that means the most. I do not define myself by any religion. I was brought up both Jewish and Christian so it’s always been confusing for me. However, I know there’s a God. I know he gave me my life. And I know to be a good person.
December 1st, 2009 at 10:24 pm
For the longest time religion didn’t really mean anything to me. I was raised Catholic; my whole family is Catholic, and for the most part everyone I knew growing up was too. It was just something I never really thought about much. Like Matt, I got to a point where I wondered what the point to going to church was and eventually stopped going.
Fast forward to years later-I’ve become more spiritual and have started attending Mass again. I don’t agree with everything the Catholic church says and does, but at the end of the day it’s the overall message I find most meaningful.
Like @Sheema said, religion may not be meaningful to everyone but I think everyone could do well to stick to the Golden Rule. If nothing else, that’s one thing my parents definitely taught me.
December 2nd, 2009 at 12:00 am
Seems there’s a common thought here about the Golden Rule. I like it! Good job starting a very important discussion.
December 2nd, 2009 at 12:39 am
Matt:
Thank you for sharing your story…I absolutely agree with you about religion and your faith…it is very personal. You put this very well in your post. If you’re not religious, the Golden Rule is a good place to start.
December 2nd, 2009 at 2:29 am
I truly believe that were it not for religion and its implicit delicateness, there wouldn’t be so much strife and turmoil in the world, particularly the Middle East. How can we expect humans to agree on faith and higher powers when we can’t even agree on whether soy milk is ACTUALLY a health food?
I was raised Jewish, had a Bat Mitzvah and ended it there. I didn’t even want a Bat Mitzvah but my mother used her Jewish-guilt-super-powers to convince me that if I didn’t, my grandfather would be extremely disappointed in me. The grandfather I never met. So I’d be haunted from the grave. I identify with what a brilliant British Jewish writer called Jew-ishness – that is to say, we don’t wish to deny our heritage and rather enjoy the cultural & celebratory aspects to Judaism but reject the madness and hypocrisy of all organized religion. It’s identifying with the cultural not the religious side of Judaism. And that’s okay for me.
I haven’t been to synagogue in years but I still identify myself as Jewish. I just try to live my life the way I deem fit for me!
December 2nd, 2009 at 1:35 pm
Matt, lovely post. Honest, to the point, and even though I love Matrix references, they do become a sort of drive-by-shooting sometimes if you’re not already “unplugged”.
I’m pleased to see a conversation that doesn’t involve anyone shoving their beliefs on anyone else’s lap. Finding ourselves is experiencing truth for ourselves, and I can’t imagine that a life spent in that endeavor could be harmful.
Kenji, thanks for the story; it seems we only go wrong when we organize and rationalize the truth instead of simply living it. And it’s only our minds on overdrive that ruin sweet simplicity.
December 2nd, 2009 at 5:21 pm
Matt, you have a very interesting perspective on religion. Thanks for sharing it! I agree that it has to have meaning to you. In my opinion, forcing religion on your kids is one of the worst things parents can do. I have a good friend whose parents disowned her sister because she married someone of a different religion. They’ve never met their grandkids and that makes me so sad.
But, I think there’s one key thing that you left out. Sure, when religion becomes a chore, something that you have to do, not want to do, that sucks. However, there are different ways you can deal with a situation like that; it’s about attitude too.
For example, my dad’s a rabbi. The temple was practically my second home as a kid. At some point, I realized that Judaism was going to be a big part of my life whether I liked it or not, so I might as well make the most of it. The congregation was like my big extended family and I felt comfortable as soon as I stepped into that building. I learned how to talk to adults at an early age, and how to politely greet someone who knows who you are, even if you don’t know who they are. I embraced the situation and found my own place, my own faith. I could have rebelled or grudgingly accepted it as something I had to do, but I chose not to.
So, while it’s true that you shouldn’t blindly believe and you have to make it about you, if you are forced into a situation like this, it doesn’t have to become a chore.
December 4th, 2009 at 4:03 pm
@Sheema – the Golden Rule is always a wise one to live by. But I agree – it can be much easier said than done.
@Karen – Yes to everything you said. God is love in most pure of forms – I can’t imagine Him wanting anything more than for everyone to unite and prosper together. I doubt God ever thought about how to create faith that would lead to hatred, murder, and segregation. And at the core, I believe faith has to be a relationship YOU personally have with a higher power.
@Tara – Certainly not anti religion by any means – I believe faith is an extremely powerful thing and it is an important part of my life. It’s just something that I keep to myself and work toward growing that connection that I personally have with the God that is within me, waiting to be “found”.
@Tim – Thanks much for the comment. I am pleasantly surprised to see such a great response to this post. I know religion is a topic that is somewhat “taboo” to discuss. But I think we have sparked a very enlightening discussion here. Cheers!
@Chelsie – Ah, you know me all too well – you and I will forever watch The Matrix with a different lense than most – if only people were “plugged in” like you and I, eh?
To your point – I think that is the source of a lot of problems, when we try to instill our beliefs on other people (America in general is a great example of instilling beliefs on everyone else). For me I say, to each his own, there is more than one path to enlightenment. It’s up to you to understand and embark on that path of your own.
@Sam – I agree it doesn’t have to become a chore – a lot of it does come down to attitude and what you personally believe. I think a lot of what turned me off was that the Church I was attending was against the particular lifestyle I grew up around – so there was a big conflict there – one that I didn’t want in my life – because I didn’t understand how God could be more accepting of some innocent people over others. There’s always more than one way to approach this – and I admire you for your strong commitment to personal faith.
And to everyone – thank you for such a wonderful discussion!
December 4th, 2009 at 6:40 pm
Great insight, Matt
I like what you said – that it has to MEAN something to you and that it can’t become a chore.
My sister and I both left the church my parents attended, not because we fell out of faith but to join other churches that served our needs. We now both go to the same church, though at different times. My religion to me isn’t a set of rules to follow in order to go to Heaven or Hell. My religion is a faith, a relationship, that means something to me and something I would be lost without.
You wrote it’s important to stick to the “Golden Rule,” but someone may kill you because they were instructed by their god/s to do so. In my faith, murder is wrong, there is no “higher being” to tell you to kill someone. Murder is wrong on all accounts. In other parts of the world, though – say, the Middle East – their religion is their entire being, and although the fighting and killing going on is wrong in OUR eyes, THEIR eyes see something entirely different. I don’t want to be like our presidents and send troops over to stop the war when, as Americans, we don’t have that deep root of religion telling us why this war is so important in the first place. Do I agree with wars that start because of religion? No, because I believe religion/faith should be used to love others, not tear them down, and I also believe that conquering land is a conquest of power, not faith.
What am I saying? Well, people undermine others’ religions and it’s easy to impose your views on another set of people (ie: “War is wrong, stop killing each other), but you must first truly, TRULY understand where they are coming from. Religion and culture go hand-in-hand in many towns around the world, and as a minority, I know how important these factors are in shaping a community.